Relationships...Who Wants 'Em..Me! {Maybe}

Ahhhh...here we go! I am really worried about my future with men {no homo!}. But as I look around I get nervous! People playing games left & right with people's emotions! & I can't help but wonder when will I settle down or an even better question will I ever settle down??? I look at the older women I know {around late 30's early 40's} & it appears that they are going through the same thing that females my age go through {which means those old assed men are doing the same thing boys my age are doing!}. When does this madness end??? All I want is to be happy & share that happiness with a spouse who feels the same way I feel about him about me {or realistically, somewhere around there}! It has gotten to the point now, where as I am numb to all the bullsh*t that men bring! But I would never take my past out on the present! Another problem with this liking sh*t, you always get who u don't want!!! Because trust! there is always gonna be someone who likes u, it's just a matter of returning that like. All of this is too confusing! Don't get me wrong I am not tryna get married tomorrow or anything..it would just be nice to have someone cool that u can chill with & that u have feelings for! I guess because I kno some people who have been in a relationship for a hot minute I still have hope! {I don't want what they have though...I want my own sh*t..they just give me hope!} I've evaluate every aspect of it...I considered the "you reap what u sow" but I have never really stone cold played someone out...I have also looked at the "am I ready part" & {trust} I was born ready! So I came to the conclusion that God must have bigger & better things in store for me! When I find that someone it is gonna be perfect {or as close as it gets} {good things come to those who wait right???..lol}! But forreal at times I guess I do want a lil boyfriend nd at many other times I don't! But maybe that's the thing about me...Maybe I am too indecisive for any serious commitment...but I guess if I really liked the person I would be ready..I dunno...Jay-Z's favorite line "dawg in due time" I can't escape Kanye..maybe we r meant for each other...{ummm..that's a thought! U never kno!}